Well... I'm horrible.
I know it's been almost 6 months since I have jotted down my thoughts. Ironically, that is the around the time I started dating Rob, my ridiculously awesome partner in crime.
I went to Europe, went to Kenya, and had the most amazing experiences come from it (I'll do a separate post on that). After I got home from Kenya, Youthlinc called and eventually I got a job as their office manager. In case you were wondering, I love it! Really, this organization makes my heart skip a beat. I love being a part of it.
Come end of July, I found a town home with Bri and Emily.
... and that's when life started to overwhelm me.
Here I had these two new roommates, a new boyfriend, school up at the University of Utah, and a new job... I didn't adjust easy to say the least.
There were lots of tears and therapy sessions with my mom, Rob, Peagan, and Bri throughout this process. With every change that comes in life, I figured I might as well change my attitude and accept it, because these people weren't all going to listen to me bitch for the next year. I was lucky enough to get them to listen to me for the time they did. (However, they all are there for the occasional vent session, some more than others.)
There were a few things I had to change and accept. And now, I'm kind of insanely grateful for them.
1. Bri
Not only did I move out with my best friend, but we also happened to be dating best friends, who are roommates as well. Everyone's first thought is that this is the most magical situation you could wish on two best friends, but in all actuality I was having the hardest time with it.
First, I wasn't used to Bri having a boyfriend so I felt like I was losing my best friend. I started to have a pity party... and often. It really put our friendship to the test. We tried certain things and adjusted, but it hasn't come without a struggle.
At the end of the day, I'm just happy she is happy. That is the most important thing.
She's a pretty killer person. She gets me. I get her. She is that one person that I never have to worry about judging me or changing me. Not only is she this way with me, but everyone. I feel pretty blessed to have her as a best friend.
2. Emily
Oh, the struggles.
Emily and I always seem to gravitate towards talking about religion. See, Emily uses your typical 'black and white' logic for everything & I'm over hear using nothing but grey. You can see the struggle.
In all honesty, I think we were supposed to move in together. I'm always so preachy about not changing people and letting them be themselves, and I was doing the exact opposite with her. I tried endlessly to make her a little more grey, but I soon realized it would be a tireless fight if I kept it up.
After I realized she was never going to change and neither was I, our friendship seemed to take on a new level. We didn't need to be the same in order to enjoy each others' company.
She's actually a crude humored, wild child & I happened to be both of those same things. It goes to show, that if you just love people as they truly are, nothing but good things come from it. I'm sad I wasted so much time trying to change her, but feel pretty lucky to have the friendship that I have with her now.
Better late than never.
3. Rob
While Rob was so easy to accept because everything with him is so effortless, I had to embrace and attack my inner fears about dating, especially with getting serious within a relationship. Rob and I have been dating almost 6 months now. Simply put, he rock's. It is actually bizarre with how perfect he is.
He lets me, be me. And most importantly, that was who he fell in love with.
I guess it has always been a sort of defensive mechanism for me, but I have always been who everyone else wants me to be. I, so badly, like to make people proud and strive for acceptance. I actually have given up pretty great parts of myself in order to compensate in the past.
With Rob, I didn't have to do this. I could be my weird, coupon loving, slightly earthy, spiritual, feminist self. And despite the fact that he isn't most of those things, it just worked.
In case you can't tell, I'm insanely crazy about him. Like, a ridiculous amount.
