Be there..

If there is anything that I am sure the majority of the people that know me well would say about me, would be...

Heather is the worst tester/phone call answerer alive.

No lie. I just am.

Sometimes I get anxiety when having to respond to someone. Weird? I know. 

It is one more thing on my list that I have to remember to do. Ya know? 

But frankly, I have never been good at texting. I don't really see the point in it. 

What's sad though? I am always on my phone. Embarrassingly enough, I have gotten a few comments about it from strangers.

Always on Pinterest, or Instagram, Vine, Wanelo, YouTube..

And they always ask, "Who are you always talking to?" No one. No one at all.

What about the people I am with? 

In that moment? 

Life is too short. 

People are too great. 

& Moments are too few. 

So my goal the next 30 days is this...

When I am spending time with others, BE THERE. 

No more of this iPhone crap. 

No more, "Hold on. Let me text this person back," in the middle of a conversation.

I want people to remember me for being there, all of me, and not wishing I was elsewhere. 

Count to Ten

It has been a few days since I put all my thoughts in here. Maybe that's why it has been so crappy the last little while. Today was kind of my breaking point. I don't cry too often anymore out of my own personally sadness. I cry ALL THE TIME when I hear/watch a inspiration story or watch a love story too great to replicate, but tears because I am sad or mad hasn't happened in a REALLY LONG TIME. 

But today, it happened.

I spent the morning in class (Social Work classes, which means I am therapy every Tuesday & Thursday mornings for 3 hours) and came to a realization of a few problems I have. TRUST being one of them. Why? I don't know. I guess that is where I will have to dig deep. 
Then I went to work and a very kind hearted co-worker (saying nice things in hopes it changes my attitude), who happens to have very extreme views, decided to hop into a discussion with me for 2 hours on corporal punishment that agitated me beyond belief. I kept my cool until I got to the car to head home and then started hysterically bawling. For the 10 minute car ride I started naming all the things I am grateful for. 

1. Socks (I wasn't wearing any at the time & desperately love them)

2. My car, because their are so many people who don't one

3. A warm home to go home to, because some don't have that privilege

4. Loving parents who are my anchors & give free therapy sessions when needed 

5. My phone that gives me the ability to text/contact those at a moments notice for relief from a intense situation

6. The opportunity to go to school & pursue something I am truly passionate about

7. Bubble baths with floating candles. 

8. Sisters who always lighten the mood & let you cry it all out

9. A job, because their are many that don't have one

10. My sense of humor, because it makes life bearable

By the time I got home I was laughing. Yes, by myself. Then I walked into the house to two kick ass parents who gave me a free 30 minute therapy session before I was out the door again. 

While it was a long day and I don't want to have a day like this in a long while, I know that there are many out in the world that have more strenuous, life-altering circumstances that are incomparable to mine. 

Counting my blessings today because I obviously needed to be reminded.