Reflection

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

-Thomas Merton

   This is brilliant. And if you don't think it is then come talk to me and I will explain its brilliance. I have found in my own life the people I struggle with most are the ones that I see parts of myself inside them. Whether it be things I don't like about myself and strive to change, or things I love about myself. I can't remind myself enough or the people around me the importance of loving yourself and loving those around you. Don't try and change anyone. Accept yourself and others for who they are and what they bring to your life. 

Love never fails you. So if you are finding that it does, look again at what kind of love you are offering.

Regardless, Love Them Anyways

   My friendship with Emily has definitely been a difficult one. Here is a little bit of our background. We've been friends for years, maybe not the closest friends, but always affiliated through the same group of friends. 
When I was married she was one of the few friends I saw and even that was rare. She was the first person I told about my divorce and it was in the temple the day after I had decided. She dated TJ for a moment, which was kind of weird when I let myself actually think about it, but really, who am I to keep tabs on him when I didn't want him? So I supported it. After that, how I lived my life started to change & Emily didn't always agree with it. We started to bump heads & secretly I started to highly dislike the girl. I thought to myself, "This girl doesn't offer me anything." 

I was COMPLETELY WRONG. 

   Tonight we went to the Haunted Circus and afterwards we talked until 2am. While on most things we agreed to disagree, it was nice to finally sit down and talk all of our feelings out. Every person in our life has something to offer us whether we want to see it or not. My pride was the barrier to this friendship. There is no right, there is no wrong, just different. There are some people we will just click with, and some people we have to work a little harder to find common ground. Regardless, we love those people anyways because this life is about progression. We need all different kinds of people to do that in order to learn. 

   Whether it be Emily, or someone else, there is always someone that is going to see life a little differently. That is the great thing about agency. We get the opportunity to choose. To choose individuality. What I can do is look for the best in those people and not criticize everything that they do or belief, and just accept that is the path for them and I GENUINELY hope that it works and brings all the happiness in the love to them. 

And when all else fails, love them regardless. 

Love always wins.  

Be True to You

I couldn't stress enough how important is it to love yourself. 

"Accept everything about yourself. I mean everything. You are you. That is the beginning and the end. No apologies, no regrets."

I forget this. I am sure just like everyone else, but you truly are the most important person in your life. More than your kids, more than your husband, more than your God. If you don't love yourself, accept yourself, then those relationships will take toll and get you nowhere. 

Find out what you believe in. 

SIMPLIFY.

& just be a good person, we need some more of those in this world. 

Writing this, I'm talking to myself, just I am a forgetful soul. I get caught up and complacent when things are good. I forget what I was doing that originally helped me in getting there, to that point.

Be True to You. 

Sealer + Grandpa

Yep, that would be a beer in my hand. 

This picture has nothing to do with my post really. But for anyone that knows me, knows that this is an unnatural picture for me, which makes it an even better joke.This was the night before I went to the temple with my mom for Neeley & Shishir's sealing. I almost sent it to my mom with a caption that said, "Can't wait to go to the temple with you in the morning." I thought it was pretty funny. And I know my mom probably would have thought it was funny too. Haha. 

However, back to why I really am writing my thoughts down tonight.

I was able to go to a sealing for the first time. My grandpa was able to seal Neeley and Shishir and it was a great to be about to experience it all over again. This time I wasn't nervous about getting married. I was able to take in everything that he said as he spoke to Neeley and Shishir. 
He talked lots about my grandpa Pauline and what she would have us know. Firstly, how important family is. No matter what kind of family we are or how we develop our relationship and keep is strong, the important part is HAVING the relationship.

My family is perfect they way we are. 

We are best friends and truly enjoy each others company. To me, that is what is important. That is what makes the difference in this life. 

Secondly, he talked about how everyone is finding themselves and that is a frequently asked question, "how do you find yourself?" My grandpa's response to the question was that you find yourself when you are doing things that you aren't supposed to be doing. I couldn't agree more with that comment. Life is about experimenting, living, breathing, & learning. 

Thirdly, as I looked at Shishir staring at Neeley across the alter, I was grateful I was able to take in that moment. As cheesy it sounds, the way they looked into each others eyes just melted my heart. Love will come my way. I see it everyday in my life in so many different aspects. I'm grateful that I have so many people around me that show unconditional love. 

She's Woody, I'm Buzz

"Great photographers don't need depth" -Heather 

I have mentioned Bri before. My best friend. My twin soul. My other half. She's Woody and I'm Buzz. We're just meant. Two peas in a pod.

Friendship has never meant more to me than it has in this last year. Being a friend is more than just having someone's back. It is maybe standing up to your best friend when they are in the wrong and loving them regardless. Unconditional love.

This girl knows all my secrets, my weaknesses, my flaws, my insecurities, my doubts, my beliefs. Hell, she knows me better than I know myself sometimes. Sometimes I feel bad for people that haven't had the opportunity to have a friendship like I have had with Brionna. I feel as if they are missing out. Missing out on one of life's greatest gifts. 

Life is truly better with friends, especially ones like her. 

Undying Optimist

I am a believer. I am a optimist. My glass is half full rather than half empty. I don't know how it is all going to work out, but I know it is going to. Some people might say that is naive or me, however, I disagree. Life is simply (if you want it to be). The life you get is the life you are attracting in with your actions and thoughts. So basically what I am saying is if your life sucks, it is your fault. I say that with no remorse or sympathy. ATTITUDE is the key to life. It's all about your perception of things. If you perceive the situation as horrible, dramatics, and just play sucks ass, then that is what you will attract more into your life. Once you see every "trial" as a blessing and a learning opportunity you will CONQUER THE WORLD. I am not kidding. While I haven't conquered the world yet, I'm on my way ;) I plan on conquering the world in the best way I know how, helping people change that want to. Change is scary. It takes bravery and courage. And sometimes we just need a push. I definitely needed a push. The push I received was simply what changed my whole world around. And I am one lucky person because of the help I received. Blessed.

The Disaster meets Coony

Life sometimes leads us to people we never thought we'd give a chance. Here is this girl, Rachel Coon. The wildest, craziest, most full of life girl you will ever meet. 

She's super rad. 

And I don't use that term lightly. She might get caught up in the gossip here and there, which is what originally lead me to not like this girl very much.

I had just gotten divorced and of course was the topic of conversation. This girl spread my divorce like wildfire, which I can now laugh about. But at the time I was so hurt. After a month or two went by, we magically started talking.


I had known Rachel for a few years. We danced together in high school and I had know what a wildly, free-spirited girl she was. After being in a very dark place, Rachel was exactly what I needed. I believe our friendship was not out of luck or coincidence, but truly something that God had aligned. He knew we both needed each other. I needed her over-flowing free-spirited personality to give me the courage to do the same & she needed my positive, compassionate personality to rub off on her. Not to say that she wasn't positive or the most loving human being, because she is, but everyone in our lives has something to teach us, something to offer us, as we do them. If we are always looking for the best, we'll find the the best. We look for the good in people and thats what we find. With Rachel, I have found nothing but amazing things. She makes me realize I need to strum to my own beat. And I have done just that. Life is about being happy and doing it with good intentions. I hope to continually progress to a confident, drive, successful, and charitable person. 

I'm on my way.