Coming out of the closet

I've been hesitant in sharing my blog with the people that know and love me, because I'm scared. I put my heart and soul in here at the end of the day, week, month, whatever it may be. I find myself fearing judgment, acceptance, love in sharing these thoughts that I call my very own.

Oh wait... that fear is exactly what got me in a gigantic mess last time. Fearing those things, drove me to jump into a marriage that I was not ready for, hurting friends and family and diminishing those relationships that I hold so close to my heart, and most importantly doing damage to myself. Damage that has been dealt with the by great help of a 24/7 therapist, my mom. She is a rockstar. (As well as help from Marnae & David, both individual & marriage counselors who both kick ass.) 

I invited my sisters to read my blog and tell me what they think. I came out of the closet. I am grateful they put up with my old self for 20 years. I was not the most gracious sibling growing up. I was prideful, judgmental, and self-absorbed. While I'm nowhere near perfect these days. Progression is always in my heart.

 I blame my judgmental and prideful self on trying to fit a mold that I was not naturally made to fit. Imagine me trying to fit the WRONG final puzzle piece into the puzzle FOR 20 YEARS. You can imagine the frustration my spirit was feeling. It brought lots of harsh & toxic relationships/circumstances in my life and I projected that on other people, especially my siblings. 

Find what you fear & fight back like hell. 

Oh & Carrie Butler is the best photographer out there.