Bully Blocker

Heard this term in primary today during sharing time. Sister Griffin asked what we can do to show Heavenly Father that we love him & one of the girls said by being a bully blocker. 

It has been an emotional week for me. Not in a bad way, but the tears have been flowing easily. At work on Friday, I overheard a member telling a co-worker that her 13 year old brother had committed suicide with a gun the previous week. While saying this she began to cry. At this point I'm hiding my face because the tears are beginning to flow in my own eyes. She tells her it was due to bullying. He left a note of all the people that bullied him. I lost it. My heart was broken for this lady and her family. The future social worker in me wanted to jump from my chair and comfort her. 

A couple things came to mind... This could be a very real learning opportunity this 13 year old peers at school & in all reality people everywhere. 

We never know what kind of battle someone is going through so be kind to everyone.  

We hurt people we love or maybe don't even know at all, but LEARN from it. Don't let feeding pride or ego, be at the cost of someone's life.

We judge when we have no idea what internal battle a person may be facing so save the dirty look, or the harsh (but maybe crude humorous)remarks.

This world needs compassion if anything. It needs people who are willing to fight for the good. Look for the good in everyone. I don't claim to like everyone I have ever come in contact with. But there is something good in everyone despite all of our differences.

 Be the bully blocker.

Dream long after I'm gone..

I'm kind of struggling lately. No apparent reason. School started this week. I'm at 15 credit hours. All Social Work classes (which are emotionally draining) and Statistics (which is basically like learning chinese to me) while working 36 hrs & volunteering 6 hours a week at the Dream Academy or Real Life. 

Despite my busy schedule.. I love life when I don't get caught up in my own negativity. WE SHOULD NOT GLORIFY BEING BUSY. I love what I am doing and the direction I am headed. My passion for life has skyrocketed since my divorce & new chance at life. 

When you find yourself, you suddenly have all the energy needed to stay happy and make all your dreams a reality. 

I'm going to keep dreaming long after I'm already gone. 

I mean those things. They make me alive and present, here in the moment. I know it is annoying how much I talk about my divorce, but when I say it was as if I died and I got a second chance to life/start over, I'M NOT LYING.

Here is what I have been doing the last little while that I have been MIA. 

Traditional Grandma Pauline's 12/19 Birthday

Temple Square with the Fam 

New Year's

Justin Bieber Concert.

Friend Christmas Party 

While this is only stuff I have done in the last month, 2012 was such a great year for me & I'd overwhelm myself with too many pictures. 

I can't wait to see what 2013 brings. 

Concept of "Love Them Anyways"

I have to make a brief post about this..

Love Them Anyways.. 

For some reason, I find this coming out of my mouth lots. Just naturally in every day conversation.

It is a lot more than just a phrase.

It is my life motto. 

This world would needs compassionate people. 

People to stand up for the oppressed groups of society. 

People are selfless, caring, and giving. 

I don't claim to be any of these things, but I will say I have a pretty good idea of where I am going to start.. with myself. 

Whenever, I am frustrated, angry, bitter, resentful... I say to myself, "love them anyways." 

I don't know what personal battle anyone is going through, but I do know that I can be there for them no matter what & love them anyways, because in all reality...

Can there ever be too much love?? 

Reflection

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

-Thomas Merton

   This is brilliant. And if you don't think it is then come talk to me and I will explain its brilliance. I have found in my own life the people I struggle with most are the ones that I see parts of myself inside them. Whether it be things I don't like about myself and strive to change, or things I love about myself. I can't remind myself enough or the people around me the importance of loving yourself and loving those around you. Don't try and change anyone. Accept yourself and others for who they are and what they bring to your life. 

Love never fails you. So if you are finding that it does, look again at what kind of love you are offering.

Regardless, Love Them Anyways

   My friendship with Emily has definitely been a difficult one. Here is a little bit of our background. We've been friends for years, maybe not the closest friends, but always affiliated through the same group of friends. 
When I was married she was one of the few friends I saw and even that was rare. She was the first person I told about my divorce and it was in the temple the day after I had decided. She dated TJ for a moment, which was kind of weird when I let myself actually think about it, but really, who am I to keep tabs on him when I didn't want him? So I supported it. After that, how I lived my life started to change & Emily didn't always agree with it. We started to bump heads & secretly I started to highly dislike the girl. I thought to myself, "This girl doesn't offer me anything." 

I was COMPLETELY WRONG. 

   Tonight we went to the Haunted Circus and afterwards we talked until 2am. While on most things we agreed to disagree, it was nice to finally sit down and talk all of our feelings out. Every person in our life has something to offer us whether we want to see it or not. My pride was the barrier to this friendship. There is no right, there is no wrong, just different. There are some people we will just click with, and some people we have to work a little harder to find common ground. Regardless, we love those people anyways because this life is about progression. We need all different kinds of people to do that in order to learn. 

   Whether it be Emily, or someone else, there is always someone that is going to see life a little differently. That is the great thing about agency. We get the opportunity to choose. To choose individuality. What I can do is look for the best in those people and not criticize everything that they do or belief, and just accept that is the path for them and I GENUINELY hope that it works and brings all the happiness in the love to them. 

And when all else fails, love them regardless. 

Love always wins.  

Be True to You

I couldn't stress enough how important is it to love yourself. 

"Accept everything about yourself. I mean everything. You are you. That is the beginning and the end. No apologies, no regrets."

I forget this. I am sure just like everyone else, but you truly are the most important person in your life. More than your kids, more than your husband, more than your God. If you don't love yourself, accept yourself, then those relationships will take toll and get you nowhere. 

Find out what you believe in. 

SIMPLIFY.

& just be a good person, we need some more of those in this world. 

Writing this, I'm talking to myself, just I am a forgetful soul. I get caught up and complacent when things are good. I forget what I was doing that originally helped me in getting there, to that point.

Be True to You. 

Sealer + Grandpa

Yep, that would be a beer in my hand. 

This picture has nothing to do with my post really. But for anyone that knows me, knows that this is an unnatural picture for me, which makes it an even better joke.This was the night before I went to the temple with my mom for Neeley & Shishir's sealing. I almost sent it to my mom with a caption that said, "Can't wait to go to the temple with you in the morning." I thought it was pretty funny. And I know my mom probably would have thought it was funny too. Haha. 

However, back to why I really am writing my thoughts down tonight.

I was able to go to a sealing for the first time. My grandpa was able to seal Neeley and Shishir and it was a great to be about to experience it all over again. This time I wasn't nervous about getting married. I was able to take in everything that he said as he spoke to Neeley and Shishir. 
He talked lots about my grandpa Pauline and what she would have us know. Firstly, how important family is. No matter what kind of family we are or how we develop our relationship and keep is strong, the important part is HAVING the relationship.

My family is perfect they way we are. 

We are best friends and truly enjoy each others company. To me, that is what is important. That is what makes the difference in this life. 

Secondly, he talked about how everyone is finding themselves and that is a frequently asked question, "how do you find yourself?" My grandpa's response to the question was that you find yourself when you are doing things that you aren't supposed to be doing. I couldn't agree more with that comment. Life is about experimenting, living, breathing, & learning. 

Thirdly, as I looked at Shishir staring at Neeley across the alter, I was grateful I was able to take in that moment. As cheesy it sounds, the way they looked into each others eyes just melted my heart. Love will come my way. I see it everyday in my life in so many different aspects. I'm grateful that I have so many people around me that show unconditional love.