$5 Tuesday

I haven't wrote much lately, which is never a good thing. But here I am, trying to make up for it.

What's funny is that I often sit down to write, and all my stories that are worth talking about are about Rob and I or things we do together. I kept thinking to myself that it might get overwhelming or annoying to read back on, but then I realized this is my life.

He is the most important part.

He's the beginning and the end and everything in between. He is who I want to spend my time with, he is the one that puts me in my place. He sees me at my worst and my best. Every day he get to choose to love me regardless of my imperfections and immaturities. And fortunately, I have a lot of those so it definitely keeps things interesting.

Either way, every day we wake up and try to conquer the day together. Now, I am no relationship expert, but something that I have gathered from watching other successful relationships, my own experiences or books that I have read, is that it is so important to continue dating and courting each other until the end.

Rob and I have almost been together two years, so we aren't the greatest example of longevity yet. However, we like to date each other... A LOT.

Every Tuesday, you'll find us at the movie theater. We love movies, and especially when it only costs us $5. I mean, who wouldn't? The last 3 weeks have been some of the best movies I have seen in a long, long time. They are totally worth seeing, so I must mention them.

The Judge- Please go see this. It is such a great reminder of the importance of family, despite not seeing eye-to-eye. Now, there are lots of  f words, but other than that, don't mind the rated R. Rob and I left crying. This is very normal for me, but this as very out of the ordinary for Rob. He immediately called his parents and told them he loved them in the parking lot.

Fury- World War II is my favorite and this film shed light on the horror of the Holocaust in a way I had never seen. I have watched endless movies and documentaries on the Holocaust, and this one is now at the top of my list. It is extremely gory and very violent, but unfortunately, it was a reality of World War II. It is very well made and has phenomenal actors in it.

The Good Lie- This one was a complete surprise. I had no idea what this movie was about, but my parents and Rob's parents both recommended it. They also both suggested bringing a box of tissues. They were right. I sobbed. This film was so touching in so many ways. It made me grateful for all that I have, but it also reminded me why it is so important to help. No matter how big or small our efforts are, there are always people that need help.

$5 Tuesday is just one of the ways that Rob and I continue to date each other. And I highly suggest it to anyone. It is at all Megaplex theaters for any theater type. We like to pretend we are ritzy and go to the VIP theater or IMAX theater. I mean, it's $5!!! Who wouldn't?

We also love food, especially cheeseburgers, so going out on Thursday nights for to grab dinner makes our bellies full and our hearts even fuller.

That's all for now.

'The' Story, Ps. I'm Engaged!

My favorite story of everyone's is how they met their partner in crime. Why? Well, I guess I find it fascinating how the universe brings two people together, that are suppose to be together.

Rob and I met on Tinder. Embarrassing, I know. If you don't know what that it is, thank heavens.

Before I met Rob:
I had just gone through a very rough time and decided to focus on myself. I dived deep into school, work and traveling. I had put serious dating on a definite hiatus.

I dated here and there, but I didn't find any legitimate interest to keep anyone around. Truthfully, I wasn't ready and slightly terrified. And if there is anything I have learned from my past experiences, you have to be ready. You can't except someone else to love you, when you don't fully love yourself. I was learning how to do that all over again.

I took that year and a half to just be me. I did whatever I wanted. It was nice, and slightly wild, but looking back I needed it desperately.

After Rob and I matched on Tinder, we started texting at first. What I loved more than anything, he never 'tapped on my glass.' He wasn't always trying to talk to me throughout the day or showering me with compliments, he was just cool and collected all the time.

Finally after weeks of building up the courage and a GIANT push from one of my best friends, I finally asked him to hangout. It was 1:00 AM and there I was asking a stranger to hangout. Yes, it was dangerous. Yes, I was stupid. And yes, I will punish my children if they ever do the same.

However, I am so glad I did. We talked until the wee hours of the morning. I left around 4 or 5 AM completely giddy.

Literally from that night, we have been together almost every night. Not kidding.

Oh, and now we are engaged! Over a year of being together and we'll finally tying in the knot in June of 2015.

Ps. Engagement story to come..

To be a little bit better

When I have a heart-wrenching thing happen, like my Mommom’s passing on Cinco de Mayo, I swear it’s the universe reminding me to be better.

To be a better friend, a better daughter, a better companion, a better sister, but most importantly… a better human.

I get so caught up in plans that my life slowly transitions to auto-pilot. I forget that I have to TRY, that I need to put in the work in order to make my relationships genuine and real.

Fortunately, I know I am not the only one that struggles with this. I think we all tend to go on autopilot when life gets busy.

Over the weekend, my brother’s girlfriend, Cortney, made a comment in response to who-know-what, “I don’t want to be so busy that I have to multi-task.” (I probably butchered it, but it was something to that effect.) And I don’t even know if she meant anything by it, but I loved the principle behind it.

Every morning on my way to work I do my make-up, eat breakfast, and drive to work all at the same time. It is a busy 10 minutes, and I would say that most of my day is something similar to this, always doing a few things at once.

When did becoming a multi-tasker become a skill that was held in high regard? Now, I’m realizing that this may be my worst trait.

I need to take more time to and put forth more effort into the things and people I love. Singular effort, none of this multi-tasking nonsense. I need to call that family member on their birthday instead of a meaningless FaceBook post; I need to spend time, not just in passing when it’s convenient, but actually take time to be with friends that I hold near and dear, friends that are worth keeping around.

Life is happier when you are doing those things, anyway. My load feels a bit lighter, friendships feel a little stronger, my family feels a little bit closer, and I feel a little bit more whole.

Despite how sad it is to lose a loved one, I think they leave you at the most perfectly, planned out moment; a moment when you need to be reminded about how precious life is.  

Rob

I don't express enough how much Rob means to me. He knows, of course. But the rest of the world, well... I guess I finally realized it wasn't any of their business.

Yes, all my near and dear know. And from my social media pictures and posts you could assume that we are as happy as can be. Truthfully, we are.

He makes all my days brighter, jokes are so much funnier, life is that much better, and things seem to be a little bit easier when he's by my side.

For the first time, things are so effortless. Maybe this is because in past experiences, things always seemed so hard. It always seemed like so much work. (Disclaimer: It also helps when you are with the right person.)

But with Rob, things are so easy. Mostly, I give him the credit for this effortlessness, but I know he'd tell me to take some, too. 

He handles my strong personality so well. Frankly, I know it's a lot to take on.

I'm very free-spirited, extremely rebellious, and I can't seem to keep my mouth shut when discussing a heated topic. These are all bizarre parts of my personality, but quite honestly... I've learned to love them, mostly because I've had to. 

In addition to all the above, I also a recovering 'people pleaser'. So naturally, I've tried to suppress certain parts of myself in the past. With Rob, the thought never even came up. He just happens to be the ultimate friend, the kindest human, and the most even-keeled person I know. 

He makes it so easy to be myself. Really, that is the way it should be. 

I just really love him, a ridiculous amount. 

Please take note of his pony tail. He hates how much I love it. 

Leave of Absence

Well... I'm horrible.

I know it's been almost 6 months since I have jotted down my thoughts. Ironically, that is the around the time I started dating Rob, my ridiculously awesome partner in crime. 

I went to Europe, went to Kenya, and had the most amazing experiences come from it (I'll do a separate post on that). After I got home from Kenya, Youthlinc called and eventually I got a job as their office manager. In case you were wondering, I love it! Really, this organization makes my heart skip a beat. I love being a part of it.

Come end of July, I found a town home with Bri and Emily.

... and that's when life started to overwhelm me. 

Here I had these two new roommates, a new boyfriend, school up at the University of Utah, and a new job... I didn't adjust easy to say the least.

There were lots of tears and therapy sessions with my mom, Rob, Peagan, and Bri throughout this process. With every change that comes in life, I figured I might as well change my attitude and accept it, because these people weren't all going to listen to me bitch for the next year. I was lucky enough to get them to listen to me for the time they did. (However, they all are there for the occasional vent session, some more than others.)

There were a few things I had to change and accept. And now, I'm kind of insanely grateful for them.

1. Bri

Not only did I move out with my best friend, but we also happened to be dating best friends, who are roommates as well. Everyone's first thought is that this is the most magical situation you could wish on two best friends, but in all actuality I was having the hardest time with it. 

First, I wasn't used to Bri having a boyfriend so I felt like I was losing my best friend. I started to have a pity party... and often. It really put our friendship to the test. We tried certain things and adjusted, but it hasn't come without a struggle. 

At the end of the day, I'm just happy she is happy. That is the most important thing. 

She's a pretty killer person. She gets me. I get her. She is that one person that I never have to worry about judging me or changing me. Not only is she this way with me, but everyone. I feel pretty blessed to have her as a best friend. 

2. Emily 

Oh, the struggles.

Emily and I always seem to gravitate towards talking about religion. See, Emily uses your typical 'black and white' logic for everything & I'm over hear using nothing but grey. You can see the struggle.

In all honesty, I think we were supposed to move in together. I'm always so preachy about not changing people and letting them be themselves, and I was doing the exact opposite with her. I tried endlessly to make her a little more grey, but I soon realized it would be a tireless fight if I kept it up.

After I realized she was never going to change and neither was I, our friendship seemed to take on a new level. We didn't need to be the same in order to enjoy each others' company.

She's actually a crude humored, wild child & I happened to be both of those same things. It goes to show, that if you just love people as they truly are, nothing but good things come from it. I'm sad I wasted so much time trying to change her, but feel pretty lucky to have the friendship that I have with her now.

Better late than never.


3. Rob

While Rob was so easy to accept because everything with him is so effortless, I had to embrace and attack my inner fears about dating, especially with getting serious within a relationship. Rob and I have been dating almost 6 months now. Simply put, he rock's. It is actually bizarre with how perfect he is. 

He lets me, be me. And most importantly, that was who he fell in love with. 

I guess it has always been a sort of defensive mechanism for me, but I have always been who everyone else wants me to be. I, so badly, like to make people proud and strive for acceptance. I actually have given up pretty great parts of myself in order to compensate in the past. 

With Rob, I didn't have to do this. I could be my weird, coupon loving, slightly earthy, spiritual, feminist self. And despite the fact that he isn't most of those things, it just worked.

In case you can't tell, I'm insanely crazy about him. Like, a ridiculous amount. 

Look for the Helpers

"'Our world is awful."'
"No. Our world is great. For every one person that plants a bomb, you have hundreds more running a marathon. For everyone person that makes a joke about the dead and dying, you have thousands more donating blood, offering prayers, and volunteering their time. Events like these are the fault of single individuals who make violent, loud statements. We just have to make sure that statements of the good are louder."

While we can sit and talk about all the horrible things that go on around the world, in our country or in our own community, we can also talk about all the good there is to do. 

There is more of a need now to do good than ever before. 

So while everyone is sitting there saying what a horrible world they live, I want to say... "What world do you live in? Because mine is awesome. "

I have more opportunities than ever before to make a difference 

and to help lighten someone's burden in some many ways. 

It is incredibly sad that so many people lost their loved ones in today's tragedy at 

the Boston Marathon. 

My heart goes out to them.

 I could not imagine losing any of my loved ones.

So many people around the world were shaken by this act of terrorism. 

However, did you seen the love, the help, the compassion from people all over the world?

I know I felt it.

There is nothing more liberating than seeing people come together for love. 

I hope I can have this perspective throughout the many tragedies that will continue to happen in my life and my world. 

I hope to always remember the lives that were lost.

But I also hope to remember the many people that came together to provide aid, love, support, a shoulder to lean on to those who were directly impacted. 

Days like these are when we should remember how fragile life is, how short life is.

You should never be to busy to do good & to make a difference in the world. 

LOVE

So overwhelmed today with emotion. It just happens to be one of those days. On my way to school at 8am I pulled up FaceBook and it was "painted" red for the marriage equality legislation that is currently being proposed.

Yep... tears began to flow has I saw this. I love seeing people joining together to support a cause in a way that promotes LOVE, not hate. 

Then, (take in mind I'm already in tears) my mom texts me saying that my brother's girlfriend, Cortney, donated $500 each to both Erin and I for our Kenya trip! Talk about a generous person who has NEVER met us in person??  One word: SAINT. She is more than I could ever wish for my brother. 

I am overwhelmed by the love I have felt today. Love for a good cause, good people, and good goals. 

God is good. So good to me & places the best people in my life for a reason. 

I love LOVE. 

Hate cannot outdo hate, only love can do that.